I'm Christina.
I love Jesus deeply. I also spent years wondering why knowing that He loved me didn't seem to change the way I actually felt.
I'm an author, teacher, mother of six, grandmother, missionary, and biblical transformation coach.
But the work I do today didn't begin with a business plan or a program.
It grew out of my own desperate need to understand why I could know so much truth about God and still feel so far from the love, joy, and peace He promised.
A few paces ahead on the same road, turned around to help another woman forward.
I loved Jesus.
And for years, I was miserable.
I grew up in a home marked by abuse and neglect. Anger became armor early. Later came drugs, alcohol, reckless choices, deep self-hatred, and a life that was moving in dangerous directions.
When I accepted Christ in 1998, I was overwhelmed by the idea that I finally had a Father who loved me.
And almost immediately, I started trying to make Him proud.
I read Scripture constantly. I prayed. Fasted. Served. Memorized passages. Attended Bible studies and eventually led them. I served in churches, mentored others, taught, worshiped, and tried very hard to become the kind of Christian woman I thought I should be.
And underneath all of that?
Anger. Shame. Depression. A critical spirit. Fear of disappointing God. And a woman in the mirror I still didn't like very much.
I didn't need someone to tell me one more time that God loved me.
I needed someone to show me how to live as though that love was actually mine.
Where's the Disconnect?
Again and again, I found myself asking God some version of the same thing: I know what Your Word says. I believe You. So why isn't what I know becoming the way I live?
Who is God?
Who does He say I am?
Who do I say I am?
Eventually, all my doing wasn't enough to hold me together.
In 2014, I was living with five of my children on sixty-six rented acres. There were rabbits, pigs, goats, a cow, a horse, dogs, and a farm I believed we were about to buy.
Three weeks before closing, it disappeared.
That loss became part of a much larger collapse. I was angry with God. I had served Him, followed Him, tried to do what was right, and somehow my life seemed to be getting worse instead of better.
I finally told Him I was done.
Underneath that anger was something I couldn't see yet: I had quietly turned faithfulness into a transaction. I had done my part. Somewhere inside, I believed God should therefore do His.
But even when I let go of Him, He did not let go of me.
"Are you ready?"
Sometimes obedience really does take you across the world.
That question led into a season of radical change, an RV, cross-country travel, international teaching, missions, and eventually a life that looked almost nothing like the one I had planned.
Missions are part of my story and calling, even though they are not the primary focus of my work on this site today.
Teaching Across Cultures
Teaching international students and living among people from cultures and belief systems very different from my own deepened my love for people and my desire to communicate truth clearly.
Faith Beyond Familiar Walls
Outreach and community life in Egypt continued stretching my understanding of culture, religion, relationship, and what it means to follow God outside familiar surroundings.
Walking Alongside Families
In Kenya, my heart has included teaching, relationships, children, families, prayer, and helping explore sustainable ways communities can build rather than remain dependent.
It did beautiful things in other people's lives.
But obedience alone could not heal what I still believed about myself.
"In your sin, run to Me."
Years into my faith, during an incredibly difficult season, I had begun drinking heavily again.
I hated what I was doing. I would stop, repent, pray more, read more Scripture, try harder, feel a little better about myself, and eventually come back into God's presence.
Then the pressure would build again, and I would repeat the cycle.
One evening in 2019, while sitting in my truck at an Idaho campground, I realized something.
I had the Holy Spirit. God had promised not to abandon me. If that was true, He was with me right there, in the middle of the very thing I was ashamed of.
I talked to Him about the cycle and finally asked the question I desperately wanted answered.
He began showing me that I kept asking for forgiveness while refusing to truly receive it because I believed I wasn't worthy of it.
I hated myself, so I hid from Him until I felt clean enough to come back.
That night, instead of hiding, I pictured myself running to Jesus in the meadow where I had met with Him in prayer for years.
And His love washed over me.
It was not permission to stay in sin. It was an invitation to stop believing that shame was the doorway back to holiness.
The truths that became the heart of my writing and work
Over time, one revelation connected to another. What began as my own desperate search for the practical "how" became the foundation of the work I now share with other women.
Back to the Garden
Stop hiding from the Father and learn to live in the intimacy Christ restored.
Delighted, Not Disappointed
Your failures matter, but they do not make God's love for His child fragile.
Grace Over Grind
Obedience grows from secure love. It was never meant to purchase it.
Agree to Receive
Stop excluding yourself from the forgiveness, identity, and love you believe God gives everyone else.
Renew Your Mind
Bring thoughts and beliefs back to truth until that truth becomes personal and practiced.
Living Loved
Learn to respond to life from secure belonging rather than striving toward it.
I'm still just Christina.
I'm a mother of six and a grandmother. I love learning, teaching, travel, weightlifting, deep conversations, and figuring out why people do what they do.
I have a hard time staying on the surface of almost anything. Give me five minutes and somehow we may end up talking about identity, God, childhood, relationships, neuroscience, or why you reacted the way you did yesterday.
I also have very little patience for twenty pages of filler when somebody could have explained the point in three.
So whether I'm writing a book, teaching Scripture, coaching a woman, or talking with one of my kids, I'm almost always looking for the same thing:
What's really underneath this, and what do we do with it now that we can see it?
I want to help you discover how to live like it's true. "
The experience behind the conversation
Credentials aren't the reason I do this work, but they are part of the road that shaped how I teach and serve.
Years of Teaching & Ministry
Teaching, discipleship, Bible studies, youth ministry, mentoring, small groups, and Christian ministry across different seasons of life.
Certified Chaplain
Experience serving women and families in difficult circumstances, including crisis, recovery, residential settings, and frontline ministry.
Psychology Background
Academic study in psychology with an ongoing interest in neuropsychology, beliefs, attachment, cognition, emotion, and behavioral change.
International Teaching & Missions
Cross-cultural teaching, outreach, community involvement, and missionary work including Prague, Egypt, and Kenya.
Author
Currently preparing Miserable Christian, a book for believers who know the truth but still wonder why they are not experiencing the love, joy, and peace they expected.
Biblical Transformation Coach
Helping Christian women uncover the Disconnect between known truth and lived belief and learn to respond from the identity God has already given them.
My story is why I'm here.
Yours is why I keep writing.
If you've spent years loving Jesus while wondering why the truths you believe still seem disconnected from the way you feel, respond, relate, or see yourself, I understand that question.
You don't need another spiritual scorecard.
You need the courage to get honest about what's underneath the struggle, bring it into the light, and learn how to live from what God says is true.
Where's the Disconnect?